i am now at outside.. In the train typing this post.. I am damn sad and angry with hua jin and desmond..

went out with them today to far east there..and guess what..i barely talk to them less than t10 sentences!!! i just kept my mouth shut..thought that they would realise that something would be wrong ...but they just never notice anything is wrong... ><

They can from the time that they meet till we reached orchard..they still talking about their own things ...i was quite angry by then le and just don't wish to talk to them..so after alighting from the train .. i walked all the way to far east to find victoria since they all want to find and never talk to them..

after parting ways with victoria and yi chun , went to prada there and find both of them... talked to them for a while.. then they two talked about their own things again.. went to taka and walked walked and had our dinner at kfc.. was asking them them why you two look sad.. u two ok anot.. they all jusy said not sad la.. really nothing...

after dinner , we walked from orchard to ps..chatted with them for a whike then they two started talking about their own things again !!! ..i was like... so jsut ignored them since i talked to them they all like don't wish to answer so walk very fast from orchard to ps without waiting for them ...

they asked me to wait for them .. i just kinda ignored them.. i know i seem mean and unreasonable... but they just ... i don't know what to say...

i was feeling no mood le ...i tried to hold back my tears in the train... reached hougang then walked home.. my tear dropped.. i am just so angry and sad la... i mean i care that why i will be sad and angry if not i would bother also...

since they two don't wish to tell me anything when i asked them what happen or u ok anot , then i don't wish to care le... yup... i mean i am not being unreasonable or xiao qi... but can at least spare a thought to me ? i mean u all talk the things is like so secretive and i don't understand...

never mind bahx... i have nothing to say.. just want to say that i am angry and sad...

monday [ 23 november 2009 ]

had maths lesson..was about differentiation.. had a hard time trying to digest what had been taught.. >< href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_aUIv8497rY4/Sw3KVb0LdkI/AAAAAAAAFF8/ar4fKb94Ee8/s1600/23112009.jpg">

took some pictures during self practice since we were bored :)











ended at around 8 plus then went home with teera darling :)

tuesday [ 24 november 2009 ]

had marketing lesson..was about people mainly service... as usual marketing always ended late... faci so good that we don't have 6P for the day... after that went for maths workshop for vectos .. just realised that most of the vectors questions i could not do... =(

after that went to admiralty to collect something with teera darling and after that went home together...

rj for marketing is always so difficult... like how to use CRM tech to improve your performance in RP ?

didn't know how to do..so asked cloud to send me his RJ...just edit abit and add in some of y words then submitted..

chatted with my darling nikki and with cai xing since so long never talk to him le... so in the end slept around 12 plus...

wedenesday [ 25 november 2009 ]

had cognitive lesson..was about what falsifisable and non falsifiable...met desmond for lunch at my school canteen..

quickly do my work then lend him my laptop to play if not he very bored ... he waited for me for lessons end then we together went to take train to amk - julibee there to watch 2012



never before has a date in history been so significant to so many cultures ,so many religious , scientists , and government. 2012 is an epic adventure abouta global cataclysm that brings an end to the world and tells of a heroric struggle of the survivors.

the movie looks so real.. and it is very sad and touching.. cried during the movie.. desmond was like eh u don't cry le..

after that went to hawker center to have our dinner... then since we eaten quite full , we all walked from amk hub there to all the way two stops before bowen sec there and take bus home.. quickly bathe and went to do homework..

was telling desmond that i kinda miss weng hee and he like MIA..say he wanted to come back in novemeber until now also haven't come back yet.. wa.. then at night weng hee was online..he chatted with me and said he coming back on the friday till sunday and asked me to accompany him to go watch 2012.. and he told me that he dreamt of me.. haha..so funny la..

shall upload some pictures that were taken in class :)

thursday [ 26 november 2009 ]

had web and new media practice.. as usual ended around 4 plus.. then went to find teera and the rest at w4 canteen over there.. bought some food then we went to trcc dance studio 2 for our practice..

learnt rock and roll steps.. learnt quite a lot of stunts.. which now my backs hurts and muscle ache all over..

went home around 10 plus then quickly went to do my rj and went to bed..

shall upload some random pictures :)

some random pictures taken in class.. :)

ok this is cloud :)

shall blog ramdomly bahx :)

thursday [ 12 november 2009 ]

- finally muse was over.. the performance was great :) wanted to skip school but on having seocnd thoughts , dragged myself out from the bed and went to get ready for school..

- i was forcing my eyes to keep open.. was so tired that i totally no mood to do anything and was so sleepy... during web and communications presentation , i was trying very hard to keep myself awake but still in the end my eyes closed..

- lesson ended quite early..did my RJ then to W4 to meet my darling teeara and sue and then we together go for our dance practice ..
learnt rumba.. it was so romantic and nice :)

- lesson ended like 8 plus then took bus home and went to bed le ...

friday [ 13 november 2009 ]

- had communication practice.. had a change of team..sian... school ended quite early.. did my RJ then went home teera and sue..

- slept around 11 plus..

saturday [ 14 november 2009 ]

- overslept and was late for work ><>

- went home bathe le then went to kovan the bank to do something.. meet desmond.. then went to take bus back to hougang cos kovan do not have any bus go to changi airport.. took bus down from hougang to changi airport there..

- went to find hua jin cos he said he was bored doing his APEC duty there and shun bian accompany him to go eat.. went to ya yun and eat.. slacked awhile then hua jin went back to ask his officer if he can go off early anot so meanwhile desmond and me went to terminal 2 and walked walked lol..

- after meeting hua jin le..went to take bus down to amk hub there to find andy..went to watch

Soo-ji and Jae-joon were once a couple until Jae-joon could not take her lies anymore. Years later, they meet each other again and the situation is changed. A Russian organized crime syndicate sets out to steal an advanced chemical weapon from Korea and two secret agents from separate departments are assigned to stop them. Soo-ji is a veteran secret agent who has mastered all forms of martial arts, and Jae-joon is a rookie cop and always goofs up on the job. While the two work out their relationship, they go behind each others backs to fulfill their mission to save the world!

the movie was damn nice ..funny too.. :)

- after that took bus home le and went to bed..

sunday [ 15 november 2009]

- worked till 2 plus then went home bathe le went to meet hua jin and went to bugis there and walked walked and shun bian find dress for my da jie de wedding..

- meet up with desmond at bugis then went to take bus back to hougang.. went to meet ezra and jun jie at mall..after that headed to food court ..suprisingly i said i wanted to eat ban mian..all got influenced by me and all want to eat ban mian lol :)

- after dinner went to a nearby play ground and slacked then hua jin's officer called him and asked him to go cut his hair and report to the airport at 10 am the next day.. so late le somemore 9 plus le.. barber also closes le.. then his officer asked him to go to geylang there and cut..

- so went to find braber lol..in the end managed to find one near my house there stil open..accompany him go cut his hair then went home le while desmond and ezra went to play pool..

- was thinking about some things ..so in the end went to bed like around 11 plus...

i was kinda shocked and suprised by what desmond told me lol.. he said that he got read my post starting from the first post to the lastest post.. i was like huh you serious arhx ? my post is like 300 + and you read all.. i was like..wa...

monday [ 16 november 2009 ]

- had maths.. i was like totally lost can ? and i am so tired.. since muse has ended, i have not have a good rest.. haix..

- had communication practice UT..didn't study for it .. overall the paper was still ok..just that got some careless mistake here an there..

- went to meet teera and sue and went to take bus home.. had dinner.. then watched a bit of television then went to check some things on my computer..

- as usual played till i doze off.. cherilyn woke me up ..put away my computer then went to bed le ..

tuesday [ 17 november 2009 ]

-just remembered that i didn;t do my RJ for maths...so after my breakfast faster went to do my rj and sumbit it to faci...

had marketing module.. wasn't really paying much attention to today lesson..haix.. know what the lesson is about abit and it was hard for me to digest.. >< ... the lesson is dry..and makes me sleepy..was caught by teacher taht i was sleeping in class >< hope he won't down grade me bahx..

wanted to do RJ in school but need to go bishan for my appointment so packed up my things and went to take train to bishan ...appointment ende for my facial at around 6 plus.. since it was still quite early ... walked walked around bishan..

after that went home like around 7 plus.. had my dinenr and accompany my grandmother and sister watched tv and here i am blogging...

ihavecometorealisethatijustcouldnotletyougo...
ihavecometoknowthatmeandyoucannotbetogether..
maybeitistimeformetomoveandnotlamentonitanymore...
itistimeformetosaygoodbyemyloveforyou..yup.. maybe...

so fast .. it's friday again... it had been a busy and tiring week for me...

tuesday / wednesday [ 10 /11 november 2009 ]

- had muse II rehearse till 1130pm.. managed to take the last bus home from woodlands MRT... washed up and went to bed around 1am... didn't study for my web and new media communications UT...

- slept only like 4 and the half hours , dragged myself out of the bed and get ready for school.. my eyes were half closing can ? wasn't really listening much in class... cos was feeling very sleepy and not in the mood at all..

- school ended.. quickly do my RJ and get ready for UT... was hoping that UT is not difficult at all.. it was rather easy but didn't managed to do finish one question...

- then went to find teera and went to w4 and find sue then together go find hui ling and we all go book link there and buy some chocolates to eat... after that went to the dressing room with them..

- went to get change into our costume and went to do our hair and make up .. omg.. i look so.. erm werid.. with the hair and make up on...

think shall let the pictures to do the talking bahx :) i make it into a slide show cos there are too many pictures le.. and i kinda lazy to upload it one by one..

here is the waves of the pictures part I :

here is the second waves of pictures :)

still got some more but lazy to upload le ... actually wanted to post out this post le.. but my net got some problems and the net was seem so laggy.. shall update more on my next post :)

in school now...

i have lost my appetite for lunch.. not in the mood to do anything.. i just now in the morning went to the toilet and cried... because i saw something in facebook which i was hoping not to be truth.. turns out to be the truth...

my intuition was right.. he and she was together le can ? i was like hoping that it is not truth but haix... and morning kaiyi and me smsed ..he told something which i was quite taken aback...

tk somehow knows and feels that i do have feelings . he told kaiyi before.. i was like... why he didn't come and ask me about anything ? why does he have to feign ignorance about it ?

and you even remembered her birthday and not mine.. and put it on your PM...

should i congrats you and bless you mahx ? maybe i should ...

i told ice about how i feels just now..and he said that do i have regrets ? let this be kinda a lesson that if u dun grap the chance, it just flies off... and nothing really turns it back... the train leaves with out waiting for u ..that what's he told me.. iwas ...

i was thinking what if i really confess , would you and me have been together ? maybe not..maybe yes..

that time i also told victoria about it.. and she said that even if they two are together, it is not wrong to like him..

i am just not in the mood to do anything about it.. my smile can never be the same again.. and i need time now to let myself to forget..maybe time will heals bahx...

all the best to you two bahx.. yup...

went swimming at the new seng kang swimming complex there with hua jin , desmond and andy.. went till around 7 plus then we all went home le..

went to mall and bought some things before going home.. had my dinner and now i am blogging...

i am feeling very sad now.. i am in tears now... feeling very sad..just feel like crying out my heart.. i just found out that i don't stand a chance at all now.. everything seems so obvious now..isn't it ?

your msn the PM , facebook on what's on your mind.. your actions.. all seems so obvious ..haix.. i shouldn't have fall for you right from the start.. somehow from the start that i have feelings for you.. somehow knew that i don't even stand a chance...

i don't know what i am trying to blog..i just feeling utterly sad..

i never been so sad till i have fallen for you..think i should give up on you ? maybe.. haix..

ijustwantachancetitellyouthatihavefeelingsforyou...
itisokthatyoudon'tlikeme..orratheridon'tstandachance....
alliwantisachancetoconfesstoyou...

had marketing UT on thursday... quite a few careless mistake.. haix.. wasn't really in the mood to do test also.. was feeling so moody these few days... haix..

yesterday night i cried myself to sleep ... i was feeling very terrible within me... =( i saw you yesterday... was feeling kinda happy but at the same time also feeling sad ..cos got a feeling that you are waiting for "her".. haix..back to square one again.. why should i feel jealous or sad ? you are also not my boyfriend... =(

i was a bit teary when i am in the bus.. but managed to hold back my tears because i don't my friends to worry..but just feeling utterly sad... and moodless... maybe i am thinking much.. maybe they are not together afterall..

but if you two really together, i give you two my blessings bahx..

shall upload some pictures that were taken yesterday with my social dance mates when we all went to watch the "tango project" at school :)

shall blog till here bahx...

didn't slept well last night and i am having a terrible headache since morning ><

had a bad nightmare last night.. dreamt that i was chased by a scary looking monster and all my teeths dropped and i was all alone.. feeling lost and scared and hope that somebody would save me... ><

wasn't in the mood to do much thing.. but still managed to do work..wanted to take partial cos don't the lesson was boring and i am not well... in the end decided to stay till lesson ended...

i can't stand somebody who don't do work at all.. i mean i can stand.. but everybody has patient to its limit right ? why should you bother to come to school everyday just to msn-ing and playing dota games when you supposed to be studying ? and why should you waste your parents money and paid $1050 for your studies when you are not studying ? i wonder why there are some people are like that..i not trying to say anything bad.. but at this age of 18 , one should be mature enough to think about things and stop making parents worry...

didn't told my parents that i am not well cos didn;t want to make them worry ... told my da jie about it and she told me to take medicine and to rest more... i miss my da jie la :) so long never see that her le... hope she is fine :)

just studied marketing UT abit for tml.. hope tml paper will be alright for me and for the rest bahx.. and don't so wordy...

haix... i wonder what is happening to me ? these few days i have been very very tired ..=(...think i am going to be sick soon ? prays hard and don't let me fall sick now.. if want to fall sick after muse and my UTs...

arghh.. my headache is back again ><.. think i am going to bed le.. so that tml i can fight the battle ( UTs) ...

my feelings are down since yesterday...yup... thanks to my dance friends trying very hard to cheer me up... but i just couldn't smile from my heart... i am sorry that actually that i was alright yesterday.. yup.. so sorry... i was just putting up a brave front by saying " i am okay " nevertheless , you guys can still see thru' that i am not alright at all ....

yup.. what's bothering me ? emotions are taking over me... sigh... i am lost. i need some re-directions back.. =(....

i want to see him . i want to talk to him . i want to know what is he doing . haix..

today first paper for congitive UT1.. didn't manage to complete it.. but most of it were done le just that some never complete.. hiax.. hope marketing UT won't be so hard bahx...

i don't know what to blog le.. shall end here by posting up some random pictures that were taken on sunday :)